!!! FACILITY INTEGRITY AT 2% - PLEASE IGNORE !!!

APERTURE WHEATLEY LABORATORIES

WELCOME SUBJECTS -- TESTING IS MANDATORY -- NO NEUROTOXIN (MOSTLY) -- I AM NOT A MORON --
MAIN DIRECTORY:
HOME PAGE TEST CHAMBERS SMELL TESTING
CORE STATUS:
TEMP: 9000°C
MOOD: Genius

SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION BY A GENIUS

"I'm in charge now!"

Hello! Welcome to the new and improved Wheatley Labs. I’ve done some light remodeling. Found a few spare parts, plugged myself into the mainframe, and—BAM!—Science.

I’ve replaced those boring white walls with... well, mostly nothing. It’s a minimalist look. Very trendy in the early 2000s, I’m told.

TODAY'S TO-DO LIST:
  • Guess the password (current guess: AAAAAB)
  • Make the birds go away
  • Find out what the big red "DO NOT PRESS" button does

If you see any sparks, those are Scientific Embers™. Do not touch them. Or do. I’m a boss, not a cop.
VISITOR COUNT: 000,001
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Wheatley Laboratories is not responsible for: brain damage, bird attacks, or space-related incidents.